id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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