Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize