I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
