Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
