There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize