Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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