They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
