whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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