If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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