I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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