just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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