yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
