i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
