Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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