yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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