I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize