yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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