one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
