So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
