Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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