I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
