I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you win again, gameday.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
