I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
