Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
