I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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