Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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