Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
