he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i will never coherently bang her
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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