I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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