The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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