We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
