K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Semen is not good for contacts.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
