I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
