Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
