whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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