We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
