i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
