He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
