can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
