Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
