i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
