How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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