and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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