And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
