Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize