She is in my trunk
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
