Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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