if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
