Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize