I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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