i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
