Whod you bang
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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