I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize