OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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