I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
