wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
