if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
