New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
