I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
