HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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