the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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