Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize