i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
