A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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