I need to stop coming to work sober
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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