Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
