he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize