i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize