Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
her vagine was all disorganized.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
