I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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