scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
