the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
What a dumb baby whore.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The air taste purple.
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