I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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