you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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