how hairy? two words: wookie tits
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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