I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
