I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
