he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
