i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
its not stalking. its research.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize