That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Im part way to drunk.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
