im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
