Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
